Jokes+and+Riddles



Q. What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A.Doug

Q. Why do aliens make crop circles? A. Because they are corny.

Q. Where do dumb aliens go? A. Area 52.

What is it that when you take away the whole, you still have some left over?

What has roots as nobody sees. Is taller than trees. Up, up it goes. And yet never grows?

A hundred feet in the air, but it's back is on the ground What is it?

**Take one out and scratch my head,** **I am now black but once was red.** **What am I ?**

**Not born, but from a Mother's body drawn, I hang until half of me is gone. I sleep in a cave until I grow old, then valued for my hardened gold. What am I?**

**A skin have I** **more eyes than one** **I can be very nice** **when I am done.** **What am I?**

**I never was, I am to be** **No one ever saw me nor ever will** **And yet I am the confidence of all** **To live and breathe on this terrestrial ball** **what am I?**

** I turn around once, what is out will not get in, I turn around again, what is in will not get out. What am I? ** ** For some I go fast, for others I'm slow. To most people, I'm an obsession, relying on me is a well practiced lesson. What am I? **

**A blue house is made of blue bricks. A yellow house is made of yellow bricks. A red house is made of red bricks. An orange house is made of orange bricks. What would a green house be made of?**

**Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A: It scares the heck out of the dog.**

** A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: "I am placed in the door with my seeing eye dog and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me and out I go with the dog." "But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked. "I have a very keen sense of smell, and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground" he answered "But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked. He quickly answered: "Oh, the dog's leash goes slack." ** 

==

**What can travel around the world while staying in a corner?**

**Where may you find roads without carts, forests without trees, cities without houses?**

**What can you catch but can't throw?**

__//**Answers:**//__

//**A match**// //**Cheese**// //**A potato**// //**Tomorrow**// //**A Key**// //**Time**// //**Glass**// //**A stamp**// //**On a map**// //**A cold**//
 * //Wholesome//**
 * //A Mountain//**
 * //A Centipede flipped over//**